And He Thought South Park Was Crazy…
by Kitsune The Girl
Summary: Stan thought he got the job of his dreams, until he got the job of his dreams...What was he thinking? Yaoi on both sides. StYle, FrUK, SuFin and GerIta are the only solid pairings in this. Others will be considered. Most of them will only be mentioned.
1. Chapter 1

And He Thought South Park Was Crazy…

Chapter 1

* Slow, depressing music, spotlight on me in a dark room*

AGK: * Serious voice* Hi, I'm Alchemy Goddess Kitsune and this is my story…

Typical PSA Narrator: * Scene transition to a messy room* She thought there was one… * A girl who is reading on her phone; brushes hair out of face; turns out it's not me*

Girl: * Deep man voice* Man wouldn't it be cool if there was a * stares blankly for a second then remembers line* Axis Powers: Hetalia (pronounced Egg-sis Poow-ahs Hit-tail-lea) and South Park crossover fanfiction? Omigosh! I'm sure that someone made it by now. * starts looking for it on Google*

Typical PSA Narrator: She was wrong…* Girl looks stunned and falls back; zoom in on phone; "I'm sorry but South Park/Hetalia could not be found. :( "; fade to black*

AGK: *unserious; pops out of nowhere* And that's how I got this idea. I mean, I know Hetalia isn't a really well known show but come on! Well, that being said, I don't own anything about South Park or AP:H. Anywho, on with the story.

* * *

A groan escaped from Stan Marsh as his alarm clock rang did its job faithfully and loudly. He hit the off button to shut it up. Stan slugged himself up and sat on his bed. He looked over on the source of the light that was pouring in to his new apartment. He jumped at the sight of the Washington Monument outside the giant window until he remembered that was why he bought his apartment.

Stan smirked at his own stupidness. After going to college, he realized that he wanted to look for a job regarding foreign relations in the government. So, when he looked for a job opening, they looked into his background, of course. It was then they found out that he was involved in many strange instances with the government, including the very infamous Imaginationland incident. Stan was hired instantly, on the condition that he keeps his job top secret in that he cannot tell people anything about his job other than the fact that he works for the government and as a diplomat. He got up and picked up a still clean pair of pants and dress shirt off the floor.

"_So, they decided I can pretty much watch over these representatives of every country in conferences._" Stan pulled up the pants and buttoned them.

"_They said that they were a bit strange and very patriotic to their own countries, but it can't as strange as Cartman's anal probe or meeting Mel Gibson or destroying a Wal-Mart's heart or..._" Stan chuckled. Sure, he missed South Park and his family and friends. Not so much Cartman, however. The group had a falling out with him in college.

"_Thank God!_" Stan roughly put on his shirt with a sigh.

"_I can't believe we tolerated that fatass for that long! Oh, well. Not like he's coming up here at all…_" He thought. Last he heard, Cartman was still living with his mom. On the subject of friends, Kenny had gotten himself a stable job as a McDonald's cashier and well on his way to becoming manager. At least when they were still in touch...

Stan refused to even touch any social-networking site after the whole Facebook ordeal. His computer had a virus, anyway, that deleted everything on the computer's hardware. Too bad he didn't back everything up...Not only that but he was horrible with numbers and all the numbers he had, were lost, due to a shipping error while he was moving in this apartment. And to add the cherry on top, his cell phone was stolen two days ago by a crazy hobo, (He swore that the psycho was skipping off afterwards!) SIM card and all. Now, no one could get in touch with him even if Kyle wanted to say "Hi."

Stan stopped tying his tie.

"Kyle..." His super best friend...Kyle was accepted into Harvard almost immediately after graduation. Kyle going to be a lawyer, like his father. According to a talk they had, he only went to shut his mother up.

_"Dude then why are you going just to please her?" he asked him. Kyle smiled._

_"She wants what's best for me. I'd actually like to be a writer but God knows those jobs are one of the least stable. I can use the lawyer job as a day job and write by night." Kyle grinned._

_"Who knows? Maybe I can quit the lawyer gig after awhile."_

Stan had to admire his optimism. Stan smirked as he started tying a tie. He walked into his bathroom and did whatever guys do to get ready. (A/N Hey, I'm a girl!) Stan just made coffee when the alarm on his watch beeped.

"Shit!" he cursed as he poured the coffee into the thermos. First day on the job and he was going to be late!

* * *

"Sorry I'm late!" Stan yelled as he burst through the door, scaring the elderly receptionist.

"Oh my! You scared me, young man!" she gasped. Stan stopped and smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, I was late getting here. I was panicking." She smiled back.

"Oh, that's alright, dear. What's your name? I can sign you in."

"Thank you. I'm Stanley Marsh. I'm the new Advisor for Countries." He stopped for a bit and stared at Stan wide-eyed, her large bi-focals making them seem even bigger. She shook her heard muttering while typing on her ancient computer.

"Excuse me?" she looked back up at him and smiled.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just a very hard job, from what I've seen from people." Stan was about to ask her what she meant by that, until she stopped him.

"Well, here you are! All signed in. And right on time! Just pass through that door to the left and you'l be in a hall. Go to the door on the other end and swipe in. You'll be there with the Major of Security. Oh, and!" she rummaged through a plastic bag.

The receptionist gave him a can of Monster. "Take this. You'll need it," she said warningly. Stan thanked her and took the Monster, confused. He waited until he was through the door when he put the Monster in his briefcase.

* * *

Stan was standing in front of the door he was supposed to swipe into five minutes ago. He sighed. He had to go through five different security checkpoints. They said it was a top secret but this is ridiculous. Retina scans, DNA Testers, metal detectors and X-rays were enough but now an ID door! Seriously, he had to show his fucking badge to get into the god damned building. He wanted to go up to his superior and complain but he had learned that complaining on the first day was probably not the best thing to do. Besides, the pay was good and he got a nice down payment that bought him the penthouse apartment. He sighed again. Oh well, he'll just have to grin and bear it. Stan vaguely heard the click of his badge as the door opened.

"You're late!" A brash English accent greeted him as he walked in.

"_Why, thank you, Captain Asshole, for stating the obvious!_" Stan thought to himself as he put on his business smile. The speaker had shortly chopped blonde hair and-

"_HOLY SHIT! Look at those eyebrows! It could probably be made into a wig!_" Stan thought, snickering to himself. He stopped himself however and managed to keep a straight face to make his excuse believable.

"Sorry, I was lost," Stan made up on the spot. "_And who said lying to Mr./Ms. Garrison about being late to school would never pay off in life? Ha! Suck it, Butters!_"

He heard a sigh. "Alright. Just so long as it doesn't happen again," the eyebrow guy replied. Stan suddenly felt an arm around his shoulder pulling him into another body roughly.

"Aww, Iggy! Loosen up! It's his first day! Don't be so hard on him! Besides," Stan looked up at the tall man. He had a piece of hair that stuck up and glasses.

"He's my man. I hired him. You didn't. I'm awesome." The man grinned, confidently. Stan blushed a bit at the wording but so did Mr. Asshole-Eyebrows. The asswipe muttered something about wondering where he went wrong with him.

"Alfred," Stan and his employer (he guessed?) turned to a man in a black suit and sunglasses in the corner.

"Let him go." Alfred sighed and let go of Stan and went over to sit next to a small man with black hair. The man in black motioned for Stan to come to him. Stan followed him and was passed a folder. Stan opened it.

"I am the Major of Security. This folder contains the identities of every country's ambassadors in the world. Your job for today is to memorize every ambassador's name and their country. That is all." He motioned for Stan to sit near Alfred. Stan nodded and took the empty seat next to Alfred. Stan looked all around the table. Mostly men with a few girls here and there.

He saw a girl who looked barely even sixteen across the table. She had a short blonde bob cut with a purple ribbon. She waved hi at him politely. He would have waved back if the guy to the left of her wouldn't give him a death glare that threatened to kill him if he did. So he smiled at her and looked for her through the folder.

"_Liechtenstein._

_Human name: Lili Burnhart._

_Quiet and soft spoken but is not afraid to speak her mind._

_Stays with her adoptive older brother, Switzerland (see Vash Zwingli), whom dotes on and protects her._"

This explained so much. Yet so little. Stan sighed.

"Well, these people aren't going to drill every name into my head." He looked to his right and saw a boy sleeping with a relaxed expression on his face and a stray curl protruding from his head. A soft "Ve~." was heard as a snore.

"_North Italy (Italy Veneziano)_

_Human name: Feliciano Vargas_

_Younger brother of South Italy (see Lovino Vargas)._

_An energetic, yet lazy and happy young man._

_Gets along with most other nations pretty well._

_Completely ineffectual._

_Germany (see Ludwig) is his best friend(?)_"

He looked back at the man. A large, stern looking guy with a thick German accent was trying to wake him up. Ludwig perhaps? Now, how about Major Eyebrows and Alfred.

"_The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (England; Britain; UK; Iggy)_

_Human name: Arthur Kirkland_

_Rough and sensitive but cannot say what he means._

_Wishes for friends._

_Claims to hate other countries but does care for them._

_Hates France (see Francis Bonnefoy)_

_The United States of America (USA; America)_

_Human Name: Alfred F. Jones_

_Loud, nosey and loves all sorts of fast food._

_Leaps before he thinks._

_Means well at all times._

_Friends with Japan. (see Kiku Honda)_"

So...that's England and America. They were a bit expected due to their accents. Huh...well more papers await!

* * *

After a half an hour, he finally finished memorizing every ambassador and BOTH of their name and their country's name! ("_Why the fuck is Prussia still a country?_") After he gave back the folder to the Major, he was told to listen to the meeting. If they got distracted or off-topic, just redirect them. Then left the room. That's what he was told. Then...

...How in Gods name did it turn out like this? Well, it all started when Francis suggested that public nudity should be legal...Arthur violently opposed the idea. Hercules (Greece) put in his two-cents and promptly fell back asleep. This sparked opposition from Sadiq (Turkey), which, in turned into this. Countries arguing. Every one was shouting and even jumping over the table to fight. Feliciano even woke up and started crying at the noise. Ludwig was trying to keep everyone in order and calm down Feliciano at the same time, which wasn't working. Alfred was laughing over everyone, encouraging the fight. And over whose food was better or worst and who's landscapes were better. "…_What the fuck?_"

"._..I think I now know why they hired me..._" Stan thought. He looked around for something to make a loud noise. There was nothing until he saw a glass box like a fire extinguisher, only it said, "To get attention, break me. Stan broke the box's opening. He was expecting a gun or an air horn to be inside. Instead it was empty, however it seemed to work.

Feliciano stopped crying. Ludwig and Alfred stopped yelling. Francis and Arthur paused strangling each other. Everyone looked at Stan, quiet and still. They were expecting him to say something. Stan took a deep breath and started.

"Everyone, what are you supposed to be doing?" He said this malice, to get his point across. Kiku (Japan) timidly raised his hand and spoke quietly, but clearly in a calm Japanese accent.

"Discussing budget issues." Stan nodded.

"Exactly! Now, get the fuck on it!" Stan simply as he took his seat, exasperated. It took an awkward minute until Arthur said nervously,

"Well, chaps. Shall we continue?"

* * *

Finally! The meeting's over! A few small fights broke out but they were quickly silenced by Stan's "glare of justice" as Alfred called it. Surprisingly they didn't really act awkward around him. Ludwig and Arthur thanked him for getting the meeting back on track. Feliciano said that he looked really cool. Lili shyly waved good bye to him as Vash was taking her home by the hand.

"Hey Stan! We should totally go drinking tonight! My treat!" Alfred squealed, shoveling down the hamburgers he ordered in the meeting. Stan politely refused. He made it a personal policy to not go out drinking on the first week of the job. Alfred looked disappointed until Stan promised to go next week.

"I'm holding you on to that!" he stated, catching up to Kiku. Stan stayed and rested until everyone left. As he left, a burlap bag was tossed over his head and dragged roughly.

"Holy shit! This is-" He was shoved onto chair and had the bag removed. It was the Major and many other important-looking people.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Stan sputtered out.

"Sorry. Standard procedure." The Major explained. That was it! Stan had just enough of this bullshit!

"What the fuck is going on?" He didn't care what was going to happen. He wanted why everything was so god damned secretive about this! The Major looked at another man, a General of some sort. The General sighed and spoke to Stan.

"Stanley Marsh…It's rather difficult to explain…or to understand for that matter, but we will tell all you need to know about your new job," He said simply.

"Oh…okay." Stan calmed down. The General started.

"These 'ambassadors' you just met were actually countries themselves personified. Every country has one that was born at the birth of the country. This is a secret no, I repeat, NO citizen should know. It will cause mass-confusion."

"…How bad?"

"We'd expect a full-out nuclear winter." Stan's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"_What?_ That's…that's ridiculous! In so many ways! I mean first off some of them would be over-"

"Ethiopia, Hagos Menelik, has been around since 3000 B.C. Alfred himself, celebrated his two-hundred and thirty-third birthday last year." Stan couldn't believe this.

"No way!" The General sighed.

"Well, you don't have to believe it. Just act like you do around the countries. If you promise not to tell people and do this, you can keep your job."

"Uhhh…ok," Stan nodded hesitantly. The General nodded back approvingly.

"Good. Oh and nice job back there." Stan was confused there.

"On what?" The important men laughed.

"On getting the countries back so effectively. You were the only one who didn't run out of the room screaming or in an ambulance, passed out." Stan started to seriously question the safety of this job.

"I apologize for any inconvenience we have caused. Major." Stan felt the bag over his head as the Major again dragged him to the entrance of the meeting room.

* * *

It seemed like a lifetime ago when he walked back into the room with the elderly receptionist when it was in fact just that morning.

"Good afternoon, Stan. How was your day?" She asked, sweetly. Stan looked back at her and only gave her a tired laugh. She looked sympathetic.

"Don't worry. You did much better than the other people." Stan smiled at her.

"Thanks," He thanked as he walked out. After getting in his car, Stan found that he was completely out of energy.

"What the hell was up with today?" he thought.

"How am I going to get home," Stan thought until he remembered the Monster that the receptionist gave him that morning. Opening his briefcase and took out the can of liquid energy. Opening the can, he took a quick swig of the warm, nasty-ass energy drink.

"And I thought South Park was crazy…" Stan thought, as he put down the can of filth and started his car.

* * *

And that's how the story goes. Yes those are my actual thoughts on Monster Energy Drink. I prefer Mountain Dew to that crap. Anywho, hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

And He Thought South Park Was Crazy…

Chapter 2

**AGK**: *Sitting at a desk; yawns* So sleepy...*rubs eye* I don't wanna do the chapter or the disclaimer...*folds arms to make a pillow; something hits AGK on the head; reacts* Ow! Hey! That hurt! Who-*picks up thing* Hey, this is Ren's remote to call in characters in her disclaimers. *examines* I haven't seen it in a while. Wow. She guards it pretty well, too. I wonder what it's doing out here. Hmmm. *sees a big shiny button; eyes widen; gets a Dee Dee-like voice* Ooooo. What does this do? *presses it; Ren falls behind her*

**Ren**: *typing fanfiction* 'And then he kissed the lips of-' *looks around* Hey, where am-*sees AGK* Gah!

**AGK**: *sees Ren* Ahh!

**Ren**: Ahh!

**AGK**: Ahh!

**Ren**: AHH!

**AGK**: AHHH!

**Ren**: KIT!

**AGK**: REN!

**Ren**: How did I get here?

**AGK**: *quick and panicky* I don't know! First, I had a delicious lunch. Then, I wanted a siesta. Then, I remembered that I needed to start this chapter. But, I got sleepy and started to take a nap anyway, when your remote attacks me out of nowhere. And it had a big shiny button and-

**Ren**: *stops* Woah, woah, woah! My remote?

**AGK**: Yea, bro. *holds up remote*

**Ren**: Oh my gosh! Dude! I've been looking for that!

**AGK**: Really? Alright then. *starts to hand remote to Ren then sees a big, shiny, **RED **button* Oooo...hold on, bro. I wanna see what this one does.

**Ren**: No, Kit! Don't-*AGK presses it; straightens up.* Alchemy Goddess Kitsune does not own South Park or Axis Powers: Hetalia. *covers mouth*

**AGK**: *smirks* Sorry, Ren...Finders, keepers.

**Ren**: *glares* Grrrrrr.

**AGK**: Anyway, on with the story!

* * *

"Bernt! Bernt! Bernt! Bernt! Ber-" an alarm clock called out to wake it's owner until it was hit by said owner. Stan dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. He put the water on lukewarm, cold enough to make him wake up but not cold enough to be uncomfortable. He stepped out and dried himself off. He threw the towel into the ever-growing pile of dirty clothes in the corner.

"_I really need to do laundry_," he thought.

"_...Alas, I am married to my job..._" he finished with a sigh. I could not even find the time for Call of Duty, something he hadn't done since he started his job. After his job, it was to the super market to pick up a microwave dinner ("Cooking? After my job? Ha!"), then bed...Yeah...Sure, he had weekends off, but he still had "homework" ("Something I never thought I'd do again. Sucks to be me." he thought.) and by the time he finished, all he wanted to do was sleep.

Stan's stomach groaned. Oh how he wished to have pancakes, waffles, a bowl of cereal, a cold glass of milk or even a hot Pop-Tart again in the morning. He sighed. However, even that was too much to ask for. During lunch break, the only place he could go to was McDonald's, much to Alfred's happiness. He asked to go with him every time.

Stan and Alfred have become rather close friends. Stan knew how to control Al. He pretty similar to his father, once you thought about it. Alfred even invited him to one of his bar-b-q's...five months from now…

_"It's my birthday party." Alfred explained, with enthusiasm._

_"I have the bestest, most awesomest parties EVER! Everyone is gonna be there, even that Commie bastard over there." He pointed to Ivan (Russia), who smiled back sweetly._

_"Be there or be square, man." Alfred waved to Stan as he ran off. _Alfred invited everyone, even his mortal enemies. Stan laughed to himself. Alfred was, despite his loud and carefree impression, actually pretty cool guy. Not as cool as Kyle, though.

Stan stopped organizing papers in his briefcase. He had been thinking of Kyle more lately. He's been having weird dreams lately. It was always the same dream or something similar to it. In them, Stan was reliving events of his friendship with Kyle. It always started with them as kids and progressed to their high school graduation. Stan shook hid head to get rid of the thought.

"_Maybe I should to visit South Park some time soon. I'm probably missing it there._"

* * *

"And that's all for today's meeting," Ludwig finished. Stan closed his folder and slipped it into his briefcase. He was about to leave when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder and pull him into the familiar body. (It was what? The sixth time in a week?)

"Yo, Stan! Now...let's get smashed!" Alfred yelled out.

"What?" Alfred looked crestfallen.

"Dude! You promised to go drinking with me tonight. Don't you remember?"

"Oh yeah! I just need to drop my 'schoolwork' at home." Stan indicated his briefcase. Alfred gave him a sympathy look.

"Ooo. Tough. Want me to give you a lift?"

"Actually, Alfred," Stan knew that monotone voice. He and Alfred looked behind him to see the Major.

"Stanley Marsh must be driven home by us tonight." Alfred let go of Stan, pouting.

"Geez, every time!" Al groaned. Stan felt let down. This was supposed to be the time where he could let himself have some fun! Then, Stan got an idea.

"How about I meet you somewhere?" Stan suggested. Alfred thought for a moment, laughed and put his arm around Stan shoulder.

"Great idea, bro! I knew I could count on you! Let me have your cell. I'll give you mine for yours." Alfred pulled out his iPhone as Stan pulled out his new Blackberry.

"Sure. It's [insert cell phone number here because I'm just that lazy. :P]!" Stan said slowly. Alfred tapped the touch screen, as Stan recited his number, and with the power of Steve Jobs, Stan's number was saved in Alfred F. Jones' phone in a matter of seconds. Alfred pushed the home button and texted Stan quickly as Stan was lead out by the Major.

"Cal me 1ce u shak of thos buzkilz! ;)

~TheAwesomeEagleAl" is what the text read.

* * *

"Ok, seriously, what the fuck? You've kidnapped me for the tenth time in a month. I already know that I can't tell anyone about my job! Don't you have something better to do, you perverts?" Stan ranted. The fucking Department of Security had decided that it would be more dangerous if Stan didn't believe them. So, it has been taking him to an "undisclosed location" left and right, trying to convince them of this cockamamie story of "country-people". Today was a bit different. They were in a big black limo this time. The Major said that they would "transport" Stan's car in a "safe and secure fashion."

"I mean, come ON! There's almost no way I can tell any way! And that bullshit about them being the countries themselves. You can't tell me anything anyway, so why should I-"

"We know," the General interrupted. Stan shut up. The General was a very tough looking person.

"But now, we can. Well, show you would be a more accurate term." Stan crossed his arms and leaned back into the seat, with a huff.

"And you couldn't show me before because..."

"We, to be blunt, didn't trust you fully. But Jones seems to trust you very well." Stan raised an eyebrow.

"And that changes everything?"

"Actually, yes, it does. Jones is our country and our greatest advisor. If he trusts someone as to the extent as giving them his personal cell phone number, then it is probably best to trust his judgment." Stan huffed. Like hell country people existed.

"Well, let's get this over with. Show me or whatever the hell you wanna do." Stan was handed a folder. Stan sighed and opened it.

Inside were various pictures of Alfred. However, it was from many different time periods. There was a painting of a younger him with George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin at a post office of sorts. The bottom labeled "The Mailing of the Declaration of Independence. 1776."

He flipped it over. There was an old black and white photograph of a neutral looking Alfred that looked a bit older but still young. Alfred had a broken arm, several gashes and a pained expression. However, in the unsmiling picture, he looked strong and proud in his Union uniform. "After The Battle of Gettysburg. 1863."

He turned to another black and white photograph. He was grinning with two other solders who were also grinning with smoke and soot on their faces. "World War II. 1944." was written on the bottom.

Behind that was one that looked like a personal picture. It had Alfred in old bellbottom jeans and an Aerosmith T-shirt with a younger Steven Tyler, both of them smiling. "After An Aerosmith Concert. 1979."

Stan stared. This was the best evidence they came up with. Alfred had shown him the picture of Steven Tyler and him before. And now that he got a good look at it, he really did look the same back then as he did now.

"So...I think I believe you now..." The General smiled in relief and nodded.

"We believe that the way you treat the countries now are best, both for you and them. No need to put them on ceremony. Oh, you're home." Stan looked put the window. His apartment complex was in front of him. As Stan stepped out, the General reminded him.

"Remember to call Alfred. He's waiting for you."

* * *

Second chapter already? Whaaaat? This early? No way! Anyway, hoped you liked and will review!


	3. Chapter 3

And He Thought South Park Was Crazy…

Chapter 3

**AGK**: *Sitting in Oprah/Ellen (whoever you prefer...) style studio with Ren* Wow, lots of alerts! This makes me happy! I was expecting this to be not as popular as it is this fast! Tell this to any interested friends! Stuff like reviews, favorites and alerts tell me that people are interested in it and stuff.

**Ren**: Yup. The more you review, the more motivation Kit has for a story, provided that she knows how to continue the story without writers block. Like The Dog In The Window.

**AGK**: Hey! I'm trying! Anywho, I don't own South Park or Hetalia, so yeah! ON WITH THE STORY!

* * *

Stan sat at his living room table, calling Alfred's cell. A promise was a promise, after all.

"Hey, Stan! You got them off your tail?"

"Yup. Where do you want to meet up? I don't know many places."

"How about The Capital Grill? It has a really great bar, not too ritzy and I know the owners, so I get an awesome discount on the bill."

"OK. Sounds good."

"'K. The address is-" Stan took a pen and paper to write the address.

"Got it."

"Cool! Mind if my little bro comes along?"

"No, man."

"Awesome! I'm gonna go pick him up now. See ya there!" The phone clicked to signify the call had ended. Stan pressed the end button and got up from the table. He quickly got out of his suit and put on a semi-clean white button-up shirt and jeans. Stan ruffled his short black hair to something more causal looking. He grabbed a jacket, and pocketed the address, wallet and keys as he walked out the door.

* * *

After finding a damn parking space, Stan walked in the door. He was greeted by a pretty waitress with a European accent standing behind the counter.

"Hello. Al is waiting for you," she said to him, with a smile.

"Oh. Thank you." She pointed him toward the bar.

"He's over there." She smiled at him.

"Thanks again." Stan thanked her as he made his way to look for Alfred and his brother. Around halfway there, Alfred saw Stan.

"Yo! Stan! Over here!" He waved his arm to get his attention. Stan looked up. Alfred was dead center at the bar with his brother. Stan got over to the part of the bar where the brothers were.

"Hey." Stan greeted simply.

"Stan, let me introduce the second coolest person ever. This is my baby brother, Matthew!"

"I know." Stan said bluntly. Alfred gave Stan a confused look until Stan answered his confusion.

"You've introduced me to him before...two times in fact." Alfred gave Stan an "Oh~!" look before laughing it off.

"Oh, wow. Ah ha! This is embarrassing! Oh, well. Matt, Stan. Stan, Matt." Stan looked at the familiar face of Matthew. He looked nearly identical to Alfred, hell; even their glasses were similar to his. The only difference was their hair.

Matthew smiled at the intent of his brother's act rather than the display of it. Still, Matthew looked a bit tired. He held out his hand to shake hands with Stan.

"Nice to meet you again, Stan," Matthew said with a smile and a quiet voice, no louder then a whisper. Stan took his hand and shook it.

"Likewise," he replied, nervously. Inside, Stan was a little happy that Alfred reintroduced him to Matthew again. He had forgotten his name. Again...

"It would be so awkward if I told him so," Stan thought as he sat next to Alfred.

"So, what do you want?" Alfred asked Stan. Stan shrugged as he pulled out his wallet. Alfred waved him off.

"Whoa! Wait a minute, dude! I'm paying for everything. You don't need to pay me." He smiled honestly. Stan smiled back, taking his ID out.

"Thanks, man."

"No prob."

* * *

Stan woke up with a raging headache.

"Ow." Stan held his head while looking around. He was in his bed with his clothes from yesterday still on. The blankets were covering him. On the night table were two notes. Stan picked up the notes. One was from Alfred and the other was from...Matthew, right? Well, he read over Matthew's first. It was shorter than Al's.

"_Stan,_

_Thank you for coming out with us. It was an interesting night with you and Al. He has been very excited about tonight. He, also, drove you home in your car. Don't worry because I checked it for damage and I didn't even see a scrape. He can hold his liquor very well. Anyway, I got you some very effective medicine for hangovers. It is on your counter in the kitchen._

_Get better soon,_

_Matthew_

_P.S. I will call you out sick in case your hangover is bad._"

Stan smiled. He could tell what kind of person Matthew was when Stan met him. Stan put the neatly written note down to see the untidy note by Alfred.

"_Yo Stan! XD_

_Man, tonight was lots of fun. Anyway, you got totally wasted. X) Me and Matt kept an eye on you. You didn't do anything like curse people out, try to fight people, puke on anyone or screw any strangers, but you were tons of fun! c: Not like Iggy when he's had as much as you had. : / He's the worst drunk! Dx Oh, and you told the best jokes. XD I loved the one...I forgot it...Anyways, you couldn't drive. Hell, you could even walk straight without me. :o So, I drove you home. In your car. ;) Don't worry. I wasn't nearly drunk enough to crash your car. Matt drove my truck and also checked your car for damage. :P So, then, I put you in bed and you fell asleep, like, instantly. :0 Matt said we should get you this stuff that works great for my hangovers and call you out sick for tomorrow, so we got that medicine-thing and Matt said he'd call for you in the morning. :) So, enjoy the day off and rest. Night!_

_Alfred_

_P.S. You kept talking about your friend. Even in your sleep. Kyle was his name. He sounds like fun! :D Introduce me to him some time! :)_"

Stan turned bright red. He covered his mouth as he read the postscript.

"_Did I really start talking about Kyle AGAIN? Oh, man! What did I say this time?_" This wasn't the first time he talked about Kyle while he was drunk. He went drinking with Kenny once and all he did was say he missed Kyle. Well, they have been super best friends for all their lives. It was only natural that he missed Kyle.

He strode over to the kitchen. On the island facing the living room was a small white bottle of medicine. Stan took a glass of water and filled it with water. He took the bottle, read the description, and opened the bottle. He took out one capsule and popped them in his mouth, washing it down with the water. The second it settled in his stomach, he felt his headache clear up.

"_Wow! This is some really good aspirin!_" Stan thought. "_I'll have to get the brand from Matthew._" He looked over at the pile of clothes that scattered the floor.

"Now!" Stan picked up the clothes hamper.

"Let's get started!"

* * *

So here I am! Again! Two chapters in one day! :o Well, anywho there is a restaurant called Capital Grille in DC. The waitress actually exists! She was lots of fun! She even gave me a high five! XD (Any one that knows me knows I love high fives and fist bumps. I'm actually going away to Otakon with Ren, one of our friends and Ren's mother and then, right after that, I'm going on a school trip to Scotland to preform at the Fringe Festival! Scary 'cause it's all in two weeks and the director only said it was ok yesterday! DX Well anyway, hope y'all are having a safe and fun summer and please review!


	4. Chapter 4

And He Thought South Park Was Crazy...

Chapter 4

AGK: *goes through door way with; winded* I'm back...*falls down face down*

Ren: *squats down in front of AGK* How was Scotland?

AGK: *stays down; muffled* Gooof. Mere. *holds plastic bag*

Ren: *takes bag* Thanks. *speaks to audience* Kit is REALLY tired from her trip so I'll be nice and say the disclaimer. Alchemy Goddess Kitsune does not own either South Park or Hetalia.

AGK: Mow, mon mif mah mory. Mehf...

* * *

"No! Kyle! KYLE!" Stan woke up, screaming. He looked around, sitting up and panting heavily. He was in his bed in his apartment. His alarm clock started it's daily routine. Another morning. He calmed down and sighed, holding his head

"Another dream..." Stan thought aloud as he hit the alarm clock. He's been having dreams about Kyle for four months. They were getting pretty intense. Kyle getting kidnapped, Kyle getting into drugs, Kyle cutting himself, even Kyle getting beat up. This one was the worst one yet. Kyle was killed...

"_Wow..._" Stan though as he heaved him out of bed. "_That was horrible! ...Maybe I should try to reconnect with people...That means..._" Stan sighed. "_Facebook...Well, maybe I'll make an account when I gets home from work tonight_." He stepped over the clothes that littered the floor to the living room.

His home had, within the two months he's lived there, turned into chaos. A messy uncontrollable chaos! Dirty clothes on the bedroom and bathroom. Papers scattering the floor along with empty cardboard cartons of microwave dinners. Dust coated all surfaces. A very faint strange smell also started to form.

"Fuuuuckkkkk..." Stan once groaned out, surveying his once organized apartment.

"How did it-oh right! My dumbass job..." he thought sarcastically.

"_I really need something...like a roommate. Yeah, that can work! ...Only one problem. Who, in their right mind, would like to live with me? Jesus!_" That didn't stop Stan from placing an ad in the newspaper.

He was right for the most part. Many people, who walked into said apartment, were quickly out of the apartment. With excuses such as "Maybe. I'll think about it," or "I have another appointment. Call you later." Hell, at least the last one was honest about it! The woman took one step in, said,

"No way in hell," and walked right out. Stan sighed.

"_Well, maybe one of those cleaning services...not a bad idea...I'll call one of them tonight._" He poured his coffee into a canister as the alarm on his watch rang.

"Time to get to work!" he ran out.

* * *

"Finally!" he slugged his way up the stairs. Everyone decided, subconsciously, that today they were going to yell over each other. Stan barked at them to be quiet but after a while, Stan was soon forgotten. Some of the quieter countries, like Toris (Lithuania), gave Stan a sympathic look but that did little to improve his mood.

"Welcome back, dear," Mrs. Johnson, the elderly receptionist whom Stan had met on the first day on this fucked up job, greeted him, sweetly.

"I could hear the shouts from here. Tough day?" She got an irritated groan as a response. She sighed, giving him another sympathic smile. Stan was about to leave when Mrs. Johnson called out to him.

"Oh! Stan! Wait!" Stan shot an irritated look at her before calming down a bit.

"What?"

"There was a young man here to see you. I couldn't call you or tell him your hours but I welcomed him to wait here but he was taken away by security."

"A man?" Stan thought over who would be looking for him. His father? No, she said "young man." Dad was over forty now. A college buddy? Maybe...

"Yes. A very polite one too. He was a bit pale and had the reddest shade of hair."

Stan eyes widened. He started to talk loudly and fast. "_Could it be-_ Was it curly? Curly enough to almost be an afro? What was his name? Did he-" Mrs. Johnson shook her head.

"No, his hair was straight. It had a small wave in it but it was still very straight. As for his name...I'm sorry. My mind isn't as sharp as it used to be...hold on. I know I wrote it down." She started to look through her pile of kitty cat post-its. Stan smiled sadly.

"Thanks but I don't think I know him." He said simply but the disappointment did not fade.

"Well, see you tomorrow, Mrs. J!" He stepped out of the office. After the door clicked shut, Mrs. Johnson found the post-it note.

"Oh, well. I'll tell tomorrow..." She thought, sticking the cat shaped post-it on her computer. However, the scrawl on the note was...only legible to her.

* * *

Stan was just about to go through the security gate when the guards were turned away from Stan.

"_Strange..._" he thought. The guards were talking to someone... They took their work very seriously. Stan turned off his car to listen.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but you can't come in without clearance."

"Please! I'm trying to meet up with someone!" Stan's heart immediately stopped beating for a second then started again at its top speed. "_That can't be-_"

"I wish I could help you, but the boss is very strict about break-ins. You're lucky that you are not under arrest right now."

"I know, but I need to see him now! He's very important-"

"Sir! I must ask you to leave the premise! You will be charged trespassing on federal property if you do not!"

"No! Wait! Stan!" It is! Stan jumped out of his car and bolted toward the ruckus. The guard was blocking the path of a red haired man about Stan's age. He looked tired and worn down with his raggy backpacks. Mud was caked on his pant legs. The man's back was facing Stan but you could clearly see his hair was straight, not curly. Stan gulped.

"_Their hair is completely different...but it's now or never._" Stan thought. It took a moment to say the words but eventually Stan finally choked out the word.

"K-kyle?" The man turned toward Stan. Those round green eyes, boyish face and high voice...It was Kyle! Stan knew that if he was anywhere else besides where he was now, he'd be crying.

"Stan?" Kyle asked, timidly. Stan nodded. Kyle's dirty face lit up. They ran toward each other and did a very manly sort of hug. Stan patted Kyle's back roughly.

"I missed you, dude." Stan felt a nod in his shoulder. Kyle's arms wrapped around Stan's chest tighter.

"Me too..."

* * *

So, Scotland and London was beautiful and I loved it there. I got SOOOO many Nessie plushies for people, (Even for my baby cousin! He's turning one the weekend coming up! XD So cute!) a unicorn plushie for myself, (I had to!) and a sleep plushie for Bluebell Ren. Anyway, I'm back, baby! And please review, peeps! Well, love ya all! BYE~!


	5. Chapter 5

And He Though South Park Was Crazy...

Chapter 5

AGK: So another chapter! OMG! I love the Hetalia dub! :D America's voice is perfect! I don't own a thing at all!

Ren: You're remembering Otakon again?

AGK: Yup-p! International relations...*Ren and AGK giggle* Well, on with the story!

* * *

Stan turned to Kyle as he checked his mirrors. Kyle...Stan could not believe it. Kyle! Here! In DC! With him! After their emotional reunion, Stan explained to the security guard a true, probably bullshit-sounding story, which he seemed to believe. Stan opened the door to the passenger seat of his car for Kyle, who hesitantly got in.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Stan knew something was amiss. It was the first time he has seen Kyle in five years and they were barely talking. When they saw each other everyday as kids, they had excitedly talked about the night the night the other had missed at their places. So much so, that Cartman started to call them gay lovers.

"That's it!" he thought deciding to break the silence between them.

"Your hair." Kyle jumped at Stan's voice. Stan felt a bit creepy bringing this up but anything to start Kyle talking. Kyle touched his hair tentatively.

"What about my hair?" he asked Stan.

"It looks different. I almost didn't recognize you. Last time I saw you, your hair was more...long…and…poofy." Stan answered, trying to be as vague as possible. He knew Kyle hated his "afro" as a kid, even more so when they went to high school, where hats were banned. Kyle even grew his hair out in an attempt to weigh it down. Kyle nodded and smiled a bit.

"Do you like it? I got a conditioning treatment for it. Now, I don't have to deal with the mess of curly hair. I can cut it short without any worry that it'll be an afro now."

"I liked it the way it was but, I have to admit, that does like good on you." Stan answered, turn the car.

"That's because you've always had nice, straight hair." Kyle pouted, looking out the window. Stan chuckled. He expected Kyle to say something, but silence took over them. Stan ran into a red light. Stopping, he wondered something.

"How did you find me? Were you stalking me?" Stan asked, joking in his way. Kyle shook his head and slipped a hand in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled slip of paper.

"I found your ad for a roommate in the paper. I looked for you at your apartment building but you already left for work. But, the landlady gave me the address of your workplace." "That makes sense as to why he was at work." Stan thought.

"Do you need me to drop you off somewhere?"

"...No..." was the barely audible response. Stan was quiet. Something was defiantly wrong. The light turned green. Stan changed the subject, as they passed by a local cafe.

"You hungry? I'm running to get dinner so it wouldn't be out of the way," Stan asked. Kyle shook his head before his stomach whined in protest. Stan laughed a warm laugh. Kyle blushed a tiny bit and looked out the window, embarrassed. Kyle looked very unkempt and thin. As if he we're surviving off of a forest.

"You could never lie to me," Stan said as he pulled into a super market parking lot.

* * *

"So, what do you want? I'd recommend _Weight Watcher's Chicken Parmesan_, but I haven't tried their tomato dinner yet." Kyle's jaw dropped.

"Stan, you can't tell me that you've been surviving off of microwave dinners for-"

"Two months. And not just microwave dinners..." Kyle sighed in relief, until Stan finished.

"I've also had McDonald's and coffee, too." Kyle gave Stan an incredulous look.

"Stan! That's not healthy! You'll get sick!" Stan sighed at Kyle's lecture.

"I know but my job keeps me from doing stuff like cooking and cleaning."

"...Oh..." Kyle got quiet again. He went over to the freezer and looked over to the frozen dinners.

"This is getting so weird...You know what? Fuck this beating around the bush! Kyle!" Kyle turned to Stan.

"Yeah Stan?"

"What is going on with you? You've been all quiet and we haven't seen each other in five years! Surely, there's something you want to talk about!" Kyle looked off to the side, ashamed. Stan immediately felt bad about yelling to Kyle. Kyle spoke hesitantly.

"...I'm sorry...Look...I..." Kyle looked up at Stan. Tears were reflecting off his emerald eyes. Kyle quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"Sorry..." Kyle hiccuped. "It's just that...I...dammit..."

"Kyle..." Kyle looked up at Stan. Stan had his arm out stretched toward him, in a fist. Kyle smiled a bit and opened the freezer door. He picked up the frozen box of chicken parmesan that Stan suggested earlier. Kyle walked up to Stan, simultaneously dropping his choice in the basket and bumping fists with Stan.

"Thanks, man."

"Anytime dude."

"...Hey Stan."

"Yeah?"

"Have I got a story for you..."

* * *

So...Chapter 5 is up early...The reason will come in a second. (Its kind of a buzzkill; just warning ya...) But, first things first. Kyle's hair...People have been asking me why I don't have his hair as an afro like he's supposed to. The reason why is because I have similar hair to Kyle's (Yes, my family has some Hebrew in it. I do not believe in Judaism but I do feel connected to it.) ...Don't believe me? There's a picture of me when I was little with hair like that...The only reason why it's not like that now is because my hair is long. Anyway, the feeling is quite mutual between Kyle and I for our hair. However, I recently did a conditioning similar to Kyle's. No, my hair isn't short but it's easier to handle now... Another reason is because I like the fanart of him when he has semi or straight hair but it didn't fit with the established canon. So yeah...REVEIW!

Ok so the reason why this chapter is early... I write chapters and start new ones immediately afterwards. I was working on Chapters 4-6 and the beginning of 7 on my trip at night. I also can't get to a computer to upload them immediately after I'm done with the chapter. Anyway, I was going to release this chapter at the beginning of my senior year of school but something happened. I would like to dedicate this chapter to my stepfather's iguana, Aroura, who died today. She was a huge part of every person's who met her lives, particularly my stepfather's, my mothers and my own. I was amazing to have her as a pet and to serve Her Royal Highness. May she rest in peace...


	6. Chapter 6

And He Thought South Park Was Crazy...

Chapter 6

AGK: I'm gonna half ass this disclaimer so I can get to the actual story. I don't own South Park or Hetalia.

Ren: Wow, Kit...

AGK: Well, on with the story!

* * *

The two men stepped into the car. They were silent for couple of seconds as they buckled up.

"So, what's been up these five years?" Stan started the car. Kyle looked a bit letdown but started after awhile.

"...Well, like I said at graduation, I snuck some writing courses in my schedule. It was my junior paper about two years ago. I decided to write it on the memories of you and everyone else, even Fatass," Kyle and Stan exchanged a small, warm chuckle before Kyle's face fell again.

"...I spent the whole week working at it. I wrote about it at night, my free time, even during some classes. My grades in law class started to suffer. My law professor was getting annoyed at it, so he demanded why I was so...distracted. I told him my situation and let him read my rough copy. He read it in fifteen minutes...and laughed at it."

"He was probably laughing at our exploits as kids. Like the time when-" Stan started but Kyle shook his head.

"No...He called it 'shitty' and a "'poor excuse to be cutting his class for.'" Stan nearly rear-ended the car in front of him. Stan may not be an expert on writing but he could tell that Kyle was defiantly a cut above the rest. Kyle wrote short stories often and sent them into national contests without his parents knowing. He had about six different awards from Reader's Digest for couple of his stories. Not only that but Kyle refused to skip any class in middle and high school. Even the classes he hated!

"What? You weren't-"

"I came to every class of his. Anyway, he told me that I should give up and that I'll never be a professional writer. I told him he was wrong. Then he gave me this long stare and then asked how my mother would like it if she knew about my secret classes." Stan knew Kyle's mother would be appalled at the fact.

"I couldn't say a thing...He vowed that I would quit my secret classes." Kyle continued on a lengthy explanation on how his professor continually provoke him, call him out, embarrass him, ruin his projects, giving him extra homework and blackmail him to grade papers and stuff.

"It was even worse then Cartman." Whenever Kyle tried to defend him self, the professor's hand would go to the phone. Kyle would stop immediately. Kyle was even threatened that if he told the administration or anyone for that matter, then his parents would get a call home. Stan could not believe his ears. He had to pull over so he wouldn't start to drive aggressively.

"-So, that finally got me to quit the writing class about a month ago. I didn't want to but it was too much. I couldn't take it anymore! When I told him, he smirked and picked up the phone and called Mom." Stan mouth dropped.

"He told me that he never made a promise that he 'wouldn't not call Mom.'...Mom was mad...I tried to explain to her that I was planning on being a lawyer, but just write on the side but she said something that made me snap. I yelled 'Fuck this!' to her, slammed down the phone, flip off my professor, pack up my stuff and drove away until I ran out of money." Stan was dangerously quiet as he started the car again.

"...I'm driving up to Harvard..."

"Why?"

"I'm going to kick that guy in the balls so hard, he'll never piss out of it again."

"No, wait! Stan! Stan!"

* * *

Kyle eventually convinced Stan to abandon that endeavor of beating Kyle's professor into a pulp. Stan drove home to his apartment after much insistence from Kyle.

"My cell phone bill wasn't paid for. I couldn't make any calls. I didn't have any money anyway." Kyle answered as they approached door of his pent house.

"And how did you eat?" Stan asked, unlocking the door.

"Oh, I packed snacks which lasted me until-What the fuck?" Kyle interrupted himself after seeing Stan's home. Stan sighed.

"Yep. Welcome to my humble abode."

Kyle sat, eating his meal, while making a face. Stan smirked in a playful way.

"I never said it was good but it's better than most of the other ones." Kyle chewed on the soggy piece of chicken.

"Stan," Stan slurped up his noodles looking up at Kyle.

"Yeah, dude?"

"...I'm thinking about owning my apartment."

"The prices here in DC are very expensive. The only reason I got here and can afford it here is for my job. Maryland is a bit better. It's a bit of a hike but they've got some good deals. Virginia is also a good deal, too. Much farther away from than Maryland, though."

"I see..." Kyle looked downhearted but Stan stood up as he got a brilliant idea.

"Kyle! Be my roommate!" Kyle looked confused.

"What?"

"I've been looking for a roommate and you need a place to stay! It's perfect!" Stan put together. Kyle gave Stan a look.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, man!" Stan insistenced. Kyle started to try to dissuade Stan. It wasn't like the idea of living with Stan was not desirable. Stan, at times, didn't have the most rational ideas.

"But I've heard stories about how friends who became roommates hated each other after they live with each other."

"We've hated each other before when we fought. Don't you remember?"

"Yes...but I don't even have a job yet. Plus, I'd be an extra mouth to feed."

"You don't have to pay. I make more than enough for the apartment. According, to the landlady, I've been paying rent for an extra person already."

"I'd take up space and-"

"The apartment's big enough. It's got two bedrooms."

"...I could become a burden."

"You won't be a burden. Besides, I'm the one suggesting it." Kyle thought for a second. He knew once Stan had his mind set on something, God himself wouldn't be able to take it out of him.

"...Alright." Stan jumped up in victory.

"Yes! Let me take you on a tour after dinner!" Stan started scarfing his food as Kyle ate slowly.

"Stan will always be Stan," he thought as he smiled to himself.

* * *

YAY! Chapter 6! :D Guys, I'm getting kinda serious about reviews, though. I'd really like to know if you people are enjoying it. Suggestions on how to make the story better would make my day. I really want this story to be the best it can be. Flames are defiantly accepted, provided that you put why it sucks on the review. I think that's all right now though...so, CIAO!


	7. Chapter 7

And He Thought South Park Was Crazy...

Chapter 7

Ren: Well, about time.

AGK: For what?

Ren: Finishing a new chapter.

AGK: Hush. Anyway, because the story is finally coming together, I may have some trouble with coming up with stories for chapters. Seriously...I'm making this up as I go along...

Ren: That's the way it works for both us...sometimes...

AGK: Yeah. We have the idea how it's gonna turn out but...

Ren: It's just kinda hard getting there.

AGK: *Nods affirmably* Right. It's weird to do it any other way, too. If/When it comes to that point, I'll ask for suggestions. But right now, I don't need help so...ON WITH THE STORY!

Ren: *smirks* You know something?

AGK: *turns to Ren* What?

Ren: I bet that's what happened to The Dog In the Window...

AGK: *Blushes in embarrassment* Shut up!

* * *

Stan woke up to the sound and smell of food being cooked. Stan sat up on his bed, confused. He looked at his alarm clock. Two hours before he usually got up...wow...and he wasn't sleepy either... Stan turned off his alarm and stepped out of his room. Kyle was in his kitchen, humming to himself while stirring something in the bowl he was holding up. He was wearing a plain green apron over his clothes and had on a green bandana tied on his head.

"Oh. 'Morning." Kyle told Stan as he looked up from the bowl. Stan stared.

"Kyle...what are you doing?" Stan asked. Kyle looked confused.

"Making us breakfast. Why?"

"You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"But I want to do this." Stan sighed. Kyle had always felt like he needed to do something to get something. Stan learned a long time ago that it was best not argue with him about it.

"...Alright. Whatever. So, what are you making?" Stan asked. Kyle put down the bowl and added something in it before answering. There was some kind of batter with a brown powdery substance in it.

"Cinnamon pancakes or waffles, whatever you want, with whipped cream and fruit. There's orange juice in the fridge." Stan raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't you diabetic?" Kyle shook his head.

"Nah. Mom thought I was. It's really turned out to be...umm..." He looked off to the side, embarrassed.

"What was it?" Kyle looked down and mumbled something incoherent.

"I can't hear you. Speak up!" Kyle said something a bit louder, barely enough to be heard. Stan smirked and sat in a chair facing the island. He cupped his ear in his hand and leaned toward Kyle. He was grinning.

"What? Kyle, I couldn't hear you!" Kyle looked up, quite angry.

"Low testosterone! Is want what you wanted to know, you sadistic son of a bitch?" Kyle blushed quite furiously once he realized what he said. Stan blushed a bit.

"...Sorry..." Stan apologized. Kyle shook his head, still red as a cherry.

"Don't be. I've got it taken care of now..." Kyle explained. Stan nodded sitting back down.

"That's good." There was an awkward silence for a minute. Until they both started to laugh. Stan pounded his fist on the counter. Kyle was clutching his sides.

"Damn Kyle! That was weirdest, most awkward awkward silence ever!" "I know, right? And here we thought you and Wendy had some pretty awkward moments!" They started laughing even harder. Soon, the laughter died down. They wiped the tears off their eyes.

"So, how about both of them?" Stan looked up at Kyle who changed the subject. "

Huh?" Kyle huffed, good-naturedly like it was obvious.

"Pancakes and waffles? How does that sound?" Stan's stomach rumbled.

"Sounds great, dude!" Kyle chuckled and picked up the bowl.

"Breakfast will be done soon." Kyle replied playfully, mixing the batter.

* * *

"Holy fucking shit! Kyle! These pancakes and waffles are the best!" Stan started to shovel down the food as fast as humanly possible without eating with mouth open. Kyle chuckled.

"Good. I tried my best making it," Kyle explained, cutting his waffle slowly. Stan stopped when he was done to wash down the remains of the pancake/waffle combination with whipped cream and fruit. It was different then any other brand of pancake/waffle. It must be some kind of new brand. Kyle finally finished his portion and started reading the newspaper.

"I missed you, breakfast~," Stan said dreamy-like.

"I bet you did, Stan. I bet you did." Kyle humored, not looking up from the paper. Stan looked up.

"Hey, Kyle..." Kyle hmmmed behind his mug of hot chocolate.

"How's your writing coming along? I can't wait to read your next story!" Kyle had a small spit take in mug and coughed a bit. He took the mug away from his mouth, put his newspaper and stared down at his mug.

"I'm...not writing anymore..." Stan gave him a strange look. What the hell? Kyle LOVED writing!

"Why?"

"...It's mostly because of...It's not like I doubt my ability as a writer...but it's like...whenever I open up Word...I just...blank out...I never have any ideas anymore..." Kyle sighed and looked back up at Stan. They stared back at each other for a while.

"_I bet it was that bastard of a professor did that!_" Stan mentally glared at the faceless image of the so-called "professor". How Stan wanted to punch his smug little law face...He sighed and looked at Kyle thoughtfully.

"Shit, man. And I was really looking forward for that sequel you were promising since forever ago." Kyle smiled softly.

"You do realize I finished that years ago," Kyle teased in a matter of fact way. He took a sip of hot chocolate. Stan got up so fast that the chair he was sitting in fell back with a clatter.

"Really? Dude! You gotta let me read it!" The alarm went off.

"...Right after I get back from my dumb ass job." Kyle smirked in good humor.

"It'll be here, waiting for you, on my laptop."

"Thanks dude!" Stan went over to the kitchen and poured the rest of the fresh pot of coffee in his thermos.

"I'm leaving you a twenty for lunch at the corner store. I'll be home by six. My GameSphere is connected to the TV and I've got movies and a stereo with music. I've got to get the computer back from the Dork Team at Bestbuy but you've got a laptop so you should be fine. You can just putz around here and do nothing if you want. Oh, and there's also-" Kyle smiled.

"Alright, Stan. I got it. Get to work now so you won't be late." Stan smiled.

"Got it Mom." They chuckled. Stan picked up his briefcase and rushed to the door. Before he left, Stan turned to Kyle, with soft eyes.

"Have a good day, Kyle." Kyle raised his half empty mug of hot chocolate.

"You too!" The door shut gentlely. Kyle got up and looked around at the garbage, dirt and grime surrounding him. He tightened his bandanna and rolled up his sleeves. He had a lot of work to do!

* * *

Yahooo! Finally! :3 Finished Chapter 7! 8o I took so friggin' long! What is this? I don't even- Well, this chapter was actually supposed to be much longer in my mind, but I got new ideas and was at a good stopping point, so I ended early! This actually happens a lot… (In fact, the last Chapters 4-6 where supposed to be one whole chapter! The same thing with 2-3, too…) So, starting next chapter, I'm gonna actually respond to reviewers! I wanna try a format that Ren uses. It's really me trying out different activities for you guys! So, yep expect me to respond to all y'all in the future! (In my past stories, I responded to each individual review in a form of a personal PM…It was hell to say the least…School and other obligations always got in the way and that's why I haven't done it for this story! X[ I never have the time for it! ) Ask any questions you want and I'll try my best to answer them! Ciao!


	8. Review Spectacularmathon

And He Thought That South Park Was Crazy...

Review Spectacularmathon

Cheesy Announcer Voice And we're here with the And He Thought South Park Was Crazy… Review Spectacularmathon! –canned clapping/cheering- And heeeeere she is! Miss. Alchemy Goddess Kitsune! –moar canned clapping/cheering as AGK comes out of door-

AGK: Hi y'all! First off I want to apologize for your wait. I was swamped with school, the school's play, getting sick (again…), getting into Sherlock Holmes- series (plural)/Shwatsonlock and attempting to have a social life. Secondly, this isn't a legit chapter. It's a give back for all kind reviews I've gotten. There will be a short story at the end of the review session featuring Alfred, Stan and Kyle, which is totally unrelated to AHTSPWC…. So, if you want, you can skip this…Honestly, Chapter 8 is gonna be awhile…I wish it wouldn't be but it will. Don't worry, though. I'm not going to abandon this story however I will announce the The Dog In The Window, my _Gravitation_ fanfiction, is either on hiatus or adoption. I haven't decided yet. Anywho, I don't own a thing. Now, ON WITH THE…umm REVEIWS! YEAH!

* * *

_Note: I will be going from first review to last and by reviewer. You'll see what I mean._

Thank you! I definitely will continue this story. Lots of ideas are floating around my head for this story. C: Please continue to read.

**HyperActiveEmo205**

1.) Thank you! I'm trying my best to not make it sound as OOC/Mary Sue-like possible. I'm actually very surprised that there were no ideas before mine. The humor is kinda similar and Hidekaz Himaruya is, supposively, a fan of _South Park_. It's just plain easier for Stan to do stuff rather than Kyle. (Kyle's my favorite, but Stan is defiantly a close second!) As for the AmeRus…is it ok if I decline? I'm sorry but in my opinion…it's a bit creepy…I'm sorry but I'll tell you what. I'll give you a list of choices of who America will be paired with. I'll send it through PM. (I'm sending some hetero pairings, just warning ya!) Sound ok?

2.) I'm trying my best! I did and I'm glad you did!

3.) Yup yup yup. Surprisingly, it was, for the most part, sunny. The locals said that it was strange weather for that time of year but I enjoyed it and choose to believe that Iggy was so happy to see us North Americans that he made it not rain much. (no idea if Hetalia countries can control weather…) LOL! I can too! (Imagine a day like some kind of subconscious switch in the Hetalia countries that says "Hey! Let's be the most agrumentive, loud, headache inducing people today!" that turns on once and a while.) Well, as mentioned, his car broke down so kinda. Man hug! :D

4.) Thank you for your condolences. I was worried that accents would ruin it but they did a good job at it! :) It was a bit important. The fist bump was like a "Dude, I'm here for you," kind of thing. Of course Cartman is jealous! The question is when is he not!

5.) Thank you for the detailed review! It made my day! :) Get some sleep, (totally not the one to talk.) it'll help with school/life. They are but I've been into chocolate chip pancakes/muffins/anything. Yup…not sure how accurate it is but I did do some research. Oh well. Is it ok that Kyle isn't diabetic anymore? I wasn't too sure because the diabetes thing didn't give me a lot to work with. I'll post something to show what it looks like. –laughs- Not THAT book. I assure you…I was actually worried that I made the writing angst scene TOO long… Of course I don't mind! It's all for the sake of becoming a better writer and to make this story a better story! As for what Kyle looks like, the best example I can think of is the Soul Eater (great show) MAD of them. Look for "Soul Eater South Park MAD" on YouTube.

**nemiah**

Thank you! Too be totally honest, your review confused me until Ren explained it to me. I thought you meant actual monsters.

**ccandlz**

1.) Thank you! I think so too. That's why I'm sharing it with you lovely people!

2.) Thanks for reviewing again! I am trying my best with it! I like your goatee! I have a moustache (pronounced moo-se-tache) too! -puts on false moustache crooked- Ah hor hor hor!

3.) I'm glad you're glad. I'm happy to make you feel better. And yup. I feel like that too about writing.

**FlyingHigh13**

Thank you! FrUK is a nice obsession, innit? FrUK won't come until later. And I set the anonymous reviews setting on! :3 Right back at you! I love cherries!

**LuLeo**

Thank you! Don't fail German class!

**Player3**

Thank you! I saw my first episode when I was nine and I mentioned it to my British aunt, who gave me a weird look. I started to really like it in eight grade and now I'm a senior in high school and I love it! It's a good show but it is very…ummm…"colorful." Not for kids (AT ALL!) and has a sense of humor that not everyone gets but its pretty coolio!

**Aztec979**

Thank you! –chuckles- I plan to.

**InsomniaticFrenchToast**

Thank you! I always imagined Hetalia and South Park crossing over well! Moar shall come. LOL

Sorry if the "Thank you"s sound like a broken record but it's true. I am so grateful that you take time out of your day and chose to read this fanfiction, out of millions of Hetalia and/or South Park fanfiction, then review it. I'd give you all cookies that I baked to thank you all but since I don't know y'all personally, I hope cyber-cookies will do. :) Seriously, thank you sooooo much and I love you!

But wait! There's more! Now it's time for the meaningless side story with FLUFF! ACTION! AND HEROISM!

* * *

"Wow, Alfred! How do you know so much about history?" Kyle was amazed.

"Ah ha ha ha! History was the only subject I was any good at in school. I'm only good at US history, though." Alfred sipped the last of his cola.

Stan smiled. Typical Alfred. They were all out after Alfred took them out to the new Four Men burger joint. Alfred had called them the day before.

"_They're, like, the best burgers EVER!" Alfred yelled over the phone. Stan pulled the phone away from his ear Kyle looked up from the video game he was playing._

"_I've been waiting for one to come out here for the longest time! The closest one is in Baltimore!"_

"_So you wanna go there?" Stan asked, bluntly._

"_YUP! I'LL PICK YOU UP TOMORROW AT SEVEN! MAKE KYLE COMES WITH YOU! SEE YA!"_

"_Wait, Al!" Too late. Alfred hung up. Stan sighed. He hung up the phone and turned to Kyle._

" _Hey, Kyle. How do you feel about-"_

"_I heard everything, Stan. Al can get pretty loud. And I don't have anything planned. You know I don't know any one besides you and Al here." Kyle smiled sheepishly. _

"_It'll be your first real burger. Your mom was always anal about junk food, wasn't she?" Kyle nodded. Stan chuckled._

"_Well you won't be able to say that tomorrow," Stan jumped over the couch to sit next to Kyle. "Al will be gentle when he takes your burger virginity." They both started to laugh._

Kyle enjoyed his very first fast food style burger and fries. They were walking around the neighborhood that the Four Men was in. It was a well-to-do place in the woods. They were talking about a bit of every thing. History came up randomly. All was well.

"Somebody! Help! Pwease!" The three men looked across the street. There was a small girl with pigtails wearing a pink flower dress standing next to a medium sized tree. She was crying but seemed fine. Stan and Kyle were about to move on when Alfred crossed the street to the little girl.

"Hey," Alfred said gently. The girl looked up. "What's the matter?" The girl shook her head.

"My mommy says I'm not apposed to talk to strwangers." Alfred laughed.

"Your mommy is smart. I'll tell you what. I'll give you my name and you tell me your name so we won't be strangers any more."

"Ok." She replied wiping her eyes.

"Awesome. My name is Alfred. What's yours?"

"Maddie."

"That's a nice name." Alfred smiled to try to cheer the girl up but she would not smile. "What's wrong?" The girl pointed to the tree's middle part.

"Tabitha. She got herself stuck up there." Alfred looked up and saw a large gray cat, meowing and stuck on the tree branches.

"Wow. How did she get up there?" Alfred asked.

"Grandma needed to go to the stwre for a minute and left me alwne for a bit. I was playing with my prwincess ball when it went ower into my fwont yard. When I opened the fwont door, Stevie barked and scared Tabitha. She runned out and climbed up the twee. Mommy says I'm not allowed to use to phone when I'm home awone. But she also says that Tabitha is an old cat and can die if she gets outside." Maddie's eyes started to tear up. Alfred looked over to Stan and Kyle.

"Guys, can ya help me?" Stan and Kyle crossed the street to Alfred. "So, which one of you is stronger?" Kyle pointed to Stan.

"Stan, stand in front of the tree." Stan was confused but did as he was told.

"Like this?"

"Yeah. Perfect. Now, hold out your hand like this." Alfred cupped his hands and held it out in front of himself. Stan mirrored him.

"Awesome! Now brace yourself."

"Wait. What-" Alfred, with a running start, used Stan's hands and shoulders as a stepping stool and started to climb up the tree.

"Here kitty, kitty! Where are you? Oh! Here you are!" The cat meowed threatening to attack. "Come on, Tabitha! OWW!"

"Al! You ok?" Kyle yelled up to Alfred.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Tabitha's just being a scaredy cat, aren't you Tabith-AHH!"

"What's going on?" A skinny, young, business-working woman stepped out of a car that pulled into the drive way.

"Mommy! You're home earwy!"

"They let me off early but, Maddie, what's going on?"

"Tabitha wan out of the howse. And now Alfwed is hewping her so she won't die," Alfred's head popped out of the tree with leaves in his hair and scratches on his cheek.

"Oh, hello ma'am! Hold on a second," Alfred went back into the tree. "Come on, Tabitha. Ow! You now that's not gonna help. Come on. Slowly. There. See. I'm not so bad. Gotcha…Now, how do I get down with you?"

Kyle walked to the base of the tree, under Alfred and the cat..

"Here, give me the cat." Kyle held out his hands. The cat was carefully lowered into Kyle's arms.

"TABITHA!" Maddie took the cat out of Kyle's hands and smiled at Kyle and Stan. "Twank you."

"Hey, Maddie! I helped too!" Alfred said, climbing down. His footing slipped on the last branch. "Whoops!" Alfred landed comically on his back. Maddie giggled.

"Of cowrse, you hewped. You're Tabitha's hewo!" Alfred grinned and sat up.

"There. That's better. You look like your feeling a lot better now." Maddie nodded. "Awesome! Now, go put Tabitha inside, Maddie."

"OK." She turned around and walked to the front door. Maddie's mother smiled and turned to Alfred.

"Thank you for doing this."

"No problem, ma'am. Just glad to help."

"She's been so lonely lately…" The mother sighed. "Thanks again,"

"HEY! ALFWED!" The turned to see Maddie pick up the pink princess ball and threw it to Alfred. Alfred caught it.

"You can kwep it. I've got fwve more inside." She said smiling. Alfred chuckled.

"Thank you, Maddie but I think that you'd use it more than I would." He passed it back to Maddie. She caught it and frowned.

"But how will I show my apprweation for reswuing Tabitha?" Alfred thought for a moment.

"How about hanging out with me one day to Four Men? If that's ok with your mom." Maddie lit up.

"Oh, pwease! Mommy, Mommy. I wanna play with Alfwed! Pwease!" The mother smiled.

"Of course, he can. But you have to let him go home now."

"OK. Bye bye, Alfwed!" She waved and went back into the house. Maddie mother turned to Alfred and held a hand out for him to shake.

"I really appreciate this, Alfred, was it?" She gave him an awkward look.

"Yup." He shook her hand. "My dad was a real stickler to old traditions so yeah. Ah ha."

"Alright. I can understand that. Mine is Margaret." Alfred smiled.

"Nice to meet you Margaret. What does next week sound for you?" The two continued on talking about when they should up.

"Alfred really is amazing, isn't he?" Kyle asked. Stan turned to him.

"Hmmm? How so?"

"Well, one, he just climbed up a tree to make a kid happy and, two, he's gonna meet up with her again. He's so weird." Stan chuckled.

"Yeah, I know. I wonder if all kids are like that?" Kyle turned to him.

"Huh?"

"Oh nothing. I was just wondering if kids were like her."

"We were at one point." Stan looked at Kyle, confused.

"Huh?"

"We were kids awhile ago." Stan stared up at the sky.

"Yeah. I guess we were." He turned back to Kyle and playfully punched Kyle's arm. "Quit it, dude. You're making me feel old!"

* * *

I PROMISE THAT MADDIE, MARGARET OR TABITHA WILL NEVER BE SEEN, HEARD OF OR MENTIONED AGAIN IN THIS SERIES EVER AGAIN…Derp work is derp…Need sle- -falls asleep-


End file.
